It is now "fall" here in Australia.. and I find it quite backwards to be honest. I mean.. ok Christmas in summer was BACKWARDS... but I stepped outside today feeling like I was back in Canada on the first day of autumn. but autumn in april? hmmmm.
there is something about the chill in the air that I enjoy soo much. I hate it.. cause just when I stop missing home, I smell something familiar and I'm ruined. Today was one of those days. and again I'm reminded how amazing God is... that just from one smell a life of memories come flooding back. How cool is that? That I can be halfway across the world and still remember EXACTLY how it feels to be back in Canada, on my farm, playing outside, in the barn with mom, in the shed watching dad work on something, at grammas, in school, at dance competitions and the list goes on. And the feeling is almost better than when it actually happened.
I keep crying.. lamo, i know.. but its like.. as much as my childhood sucked at times.. it was SO AWESOME. I loved it and wish so much I could go back and do it a million times over. and i'm not just saying this because I feel like right now being an adult sucks.. but just cause I genuinely loved my childhood. memory is such a great gift.. and I'm so thankful for it. Whenever I'm feeling down I just think back to something and then another thing and another thing and I just laugh. anyways.. rabbit trail. So we just had daylights savings.. which again is so weird cause its April. And it gets dark here at like 5. And its getting colder instead of warmer haha.. But I was driving tonight and I was all the sudden in the christmas spirit and felt like I was in Calgary or Saskatoon going christmas shopping. It made me want to wear boots and a big jacket, and earlier when I got out of the shower I was actually cold... as opposed to sweating the second I got out haha (summer here can get quite intense) Even sitting in bed now my arms and feet and nose are cold... which also reminds me of Ruth and Tara for some reason.. heaters, fuzzy blankets, movies and chai lattes in aparments 36 and 1.
It's just funny though, cause I associate all of this with Christmas and even further, people, places and things that I have experienced during that season at home.. I told this to a girl from the dominican republic tonight and she had no idea how I felt cause the weather is always the same there... which was also strange.. but made me feel very proud and lucky to be from Canada and able to experience all the things I have. All this makes me so happy.. and got me thinking about the season of life I'm in right now..I feel like I am beginning a new season. I'm not really sure why or what it is.. but it just feels different. You know when you're in a season and its either really crappy or really good then one day its like BAM and out of nowhere its gone? Well I do.. and I'm happy to say mine has went from bad to good about a week ago. For the past three months I have been struggling with purpose and meaning for being where I am, whether I should be here and what I should be doing here. I have looked for a new place to live over and over, and a job even more. I have been more up and down than I think I have ever been and changed my hair color way too much for my own good. (johnny can testify) But now I am FINALLY at peace with all that. I know why I'm here and even though I don't know every detail, I feel like I am in the right place at the right time going in the right direction. I have found satisfaction in NOT knowing the reason and future for everything. I actually enjoy the place I am living, and even though I am not making as much money as I would like YET... I do have a couple small jobs.. and am very close to being hired/considered for a few more jobs. My hair color is still disastrous.. but I'm so over it. haha. It's funny how much life can change if you just change your attitude and perspective on life. As soon as I started letting others help me and joined them in speaking good things on my life, my circumstances turned around completely. I have a new trust in God and for the millionth time He has shown me how great His love is for me. He has also put a desire to help others in my heart and showing me that I really do have something to give that can change the world. Colour Conference actually was the start of all of this and because of it the nudge has become a shove and I'm ready to start doing things! I have realized the greatness the good Lord has placed in me and I'm ready to use it!!!
